Once a Friend, Now a Stranger

You are my confidant

And I am your constant

You are my cheerer

And I am your supporter

We are inseparable

We make things able

We laugh all day

We cry all night

Until one day

I thought it was just a play

You're no longer my confidant

And I'm no longer your constant

It happened so quick

We're both not prepared

We cannot stand being together

Looking away from each other

I wonder what went wrong

Why it was so easy for you to let go

Why didn't you hold on?

Why can't you tell me?

We used to be each others ally

But why did we become strangers so quickly?

Is it our choice?

Or is it directly Gods plan?

Anxiety

I feel like I am not real

I cannot heal

I try to hold everything back

But all the things I lack

Add to the weight on my chest 

Making me unable to rest

So I cannot breathe while I cry

How am I even getting by?

I lie in bed for hours before I can rest peacefully

How can I change me

To make myself better

Before I write my last letter? 

I crack under the pressure until I break

Am I even awake? 

Everything feels like a bad dream 

But I cannot wake up and scream 

I'm so afraid of me

I can't see clearly 

I can barely stand 

Because I don't like who I am

I don't know why I'm unable to change 

It seems so strange 

Everyone else can change. 

So why do I stay the same?

Le chaos

For as long as I can remember, 

I never knew how to handle my emotions

Whenever things didnt work my way, 

I've always been the first to push the blame

Because i've never seen my inner-self through a mirror

Reflecting a despicable person

Not quite like the yellow, cylindrical minions from "Despicable Me"

I wasn't cute, able to sing nor any of their positive traits

And despite all that,

I was able to feel your genuine love

I knew we wouldn't last forever

And despite priming myself for this day

It breaks my heart still,

Thinking how I used to be yours

But now it all just seems so long ago

Like humans' fueled fascination over Lost Atlantis

I still recall that day,

You left me with an open door

Yet I still feel 

Imprisoned with no key to escape

The all-consuming depths of my aloneness

Is now my only company

As I wait solemnly for the day

I hear from you again

And I hope,

Maybe one day, we'll be better versions

Maybe one day I will be able to look at you, 

Without feeling pain

Maybe one day you'll see my worth

Maybe one day you'll see i've always been there for you

But until then,

I am your mess and you are my chaos!